TUKUNTAZO is a piece that reaches to center dance as the purest expression of joy and freedom. dance is something we ALL do ALL the time - not just by trained dancers in a studio you pay to be in. this piece is about having fun, making things with friends, and claiming the agency we have in our own bodies. as wonderfully exciting and contagiously joyous it is to watch, TUKUNTAZO was equally grueling to make - pushing me to my own brink.

this film demanded every last ounce of my energy to complete. we put it all together in two week's time at the end of an exhausting series of projects, running on little to no sleep for nearly a month. while i had so much fun making, teaching, and filming this piece - i was so burnt out. as soon as this project was done, marking the end of all this creative work i had been sprinting to produce, i completely broke down. for a whole day, i couldn't stop crying. it wasn't just about being out of gas, nor the abrupt stillness after a constant going. it was about this position i frequently find myself in: a state of complete overwhelm that keeps me from holding true joy too close. it was about recognizing that this feeling had become quite familiar, almost natural. i was exactly where TUKUNTAZO starts and ends: alone, empty, in my living room. i had to take a step back and assess: why do i keep coming back here? who is going to help me clean up this mess?

a while ago, my partner said to me: "you don't have to bankrupt yourself to prove to others you love them." i think these words have a home here. i can no longer bankrupt myself (ethically, emotionally, financially, or otherwise) to prove that i care. instead, i can work to build regenerative ecosystems of relationships sustained by interdependency and sharing. like maceration, a transformation that intimately relies on breakdown, something developed in my decline after TUKUNTAZO's joyous peak. TUKUNTAZO reminds me that joy can only be sustained in balance. with others, with myself, with my creative practice.

@natalialuna_______