“except for the rock in my boot and the man in my pack”

by adam allred

Once upon a walk up a mountain

High past the trees where mostly rocks abound

I did not spend the time to remove the pebble in my boot

Take it out while you lunch

I told myself

There are miles ahead and the day hours are few

It would be a shame to waste them on a grain of sand or two

And so I carried on

Across a meadow and down a boulder field

Over a pass and back a switch

I thought when I stopped at a lake

I have already stopped once more than planned

Imagine the pace

I could make up the moment or two it would take to rid the rock from my boot

Pack off and boot unlaced.

I found the prick in my boot and gave it a flick

Noticed the bruise formed on my foot and carried on with haste

Not a mile or half down I noticed something is off

The pace is different and the cadence is tilted

Surely I should have arrived by now

It was the rock!

I say to myself

I was making better time

Hurrying on to get rid of it

It’d best to put it back and make up the minutes lost

With the path retraced

I off my pack and unlace my boot

Drop in the stone and

Shift around until it finds its divit in my heel

Once upon a walk up a mountain

Higher above the trees where few birds fly

After lunching at a pass I did not give thought to the weightier feel of my pack

Check it out at camp

I told myself

There are miles ahead and even fewer day hours still

You wasted time with the rock in your boot

It would be a shame to lose more light on what is a pebble or two

Across a meadow and up a boulder field

Over a pass and back a switch

Under the watch of every star

I off my pack and unlace my boots

Taking care to leave the stone in my foot

Hello!

says a man emerging from my pack

I hope you don’t mind

I saw you at the lake and was going to the top myself

You seemed to have space and were making such time

I thought I’d tag a long

So we ate

Splitting the chicken and couscous for one

As the man told me about everything he hadn’t ever done

Almosts and maybes

Everything he once did but had forgotten when

and how full his mind was of thought abouts

Once upon a walk up a mountain

Where nary a stranger does come

I kept the rock in my boot and let the man clamber back

I made it this far with them

I told myself

There is the mountain ahead and the way back still

The day hours are few it would be a shame

to lose such company

Up the meadow and across the boulder field

Over the pass and back a switch

At a saddle the rock still remains

I sit to take a breath as my foot slips in my sock

Wet

Along with an ache

From the weight of the man who sits on my back.

Why stop

says the man

Sure the air is thin and the trail not well kept

But you’ve slowed down your pace and your gait is down to a shuffle

The sun will be setting soon and look there

A cloud or two

So back on your feet and make sure one falls in front of the other

So I went and he continued the same

At each saddle and landing insisting

Don’t slow or go slack

and my foot stopped feeling the stone in my boot about a mile or half back

So I carried on up the mountain

Just so you know

says the man from my pack

I’ve removed some things and made some room

As it seemed so heavy

Your pace kept slowing and your gait was just a crawl

We must make it up before night fall

Once upon a walk up a mountain

I made it

Alone

Except for the rock in my boot and the man on my back

The clouds were now a threat

It was too dark to see the view

We did it!

Exclaimed the man

Although quite slow and with much waste

I am going to leave

I interrupted the man

You made it to the top, so why not stay a while

the man said in return

All the time and miles spent

Your foot, and food too

Not even your gear made it up with you

But up here you have me

With you for each mile and hour

Besides, if you go

What I am to do

To the man I said

No

Down the mountain and across each meadow

Over each pass and back each switch

I’m welcomed back home

With everything I took plus a hole in my foot

Except for a rock in my boot and a man in my pack

artist statement

my process, i think, involves as much time spent not writing as it does writing. i have a problem ignoring chores that need to be done so i try to spend that time chewing on the idea/prompt/character concept etc. or if there are some mindless tasks at work I do the same. also, at nearly all times i keep a notebook with me that fits in a back pocket with paper clips at different sections. and in general i try to hand write a shitty version before i touch a computer. i feel like i edit before i actually want to when i am typing and this interrupts the ideas. i would rather have more words written that i can go back to later and edit than fewer edited words that I will probably go back and edit again.

poems get the exception to this where i will write as many small ideas for the poem in the notebook and then start typing. if i get stuck i write the same piece in a different structure. poems become micro fictions or a short story becomes a haiku. find this helps me path find what i actually want the themes or ideas of the piece to be.

a thing that i think a lot about is men and how to be a man. i keep track of the really shitty men, the joe rogan's and such, because if performing gender is a descriptive act and not prescribed, then the popular man acts as a definition of what it means to be a man and i enjoy rejecting definitions.

growing up i listened to many of these shitty men through those really cringe motivational youtube videos and a big thing in those videos is that to be a man is to be accomplished and to become accomplished alone. isolating yourself is a huge part of that whole grind set stuff.

this poem/story is about that isolation and about ignoring those problems because stopping to address them means you will run out of time to accomplish the thing and the sort of cowardice that that creates.

so using the backpacking trip as the setting mattered to me because, the way my dad went about it, was that the trips were just a really long about way to get home. the trip wasn't about climbing the mountain. the trip was just about getting home. the mountain is where you get to reassess how you got there. if it was about the climbing of the mountain then any amount of pain or risk would be worth it.

@mustachpistach

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