“except for the rock in my boot and the man in my pack”
by adam allred
Once upon a walk up a mountain
High past the trees where mostly rocks abound
I did not spend the time to remove the pebble in my boot
Take it out while you lunch
I told myself
There are miles ahead and the day hours are few
It would be a shame to waste them on a grain of sand or two
And so I carried on
Across a meadow and down a boulder field
Over a pass and back a switch
I thought when I stopped at a lake
I have already stopped once more than planned
Imagine the pace
I could make up the moment or two it would take to rid the rock from my boot
Pack off and boot unlaced.
I found the prick in my boot and gave it a flick
Noticed the bruise formed on my foot and carried on with haste
Not a mile or half down I noticed something is off
The pace is different and the cadence is tilted
Surely I should have arrived by now
It was the rock!
I say to myself
I was making better time
Hurrying on to get rid of it
It’d best to put it back and make up the minutes lost
With the path retraced
I off my pack and unlace my boot
Drop in the stone and
Shift around until it finds its divit in my heel
Once upon a walk up a mountain
Higher above the trees where few birds fly
After lunching at a pass I did not give thought to the weightier feel of my pack
Check it out at camp
I told myself
There are miles ahead and even fewer day hours still
You wasted time with the rock in your boot
It would be a shame to lose more light on what is a pebble or two
Across a meadow and up a boulder field
Over a pass and back a switch
Under the watch of every star
I off my pack and unlace my boots
Taking care to leave the stone in my foot
Hello!
says a man emerging from my pack
I hope you don’t mind
I saw you at the lake and was going to the top myself
You seemed to have space and were making such time
I thought I’d tag a long
So we ate
Splitting the chicken and couscous for one
As the man told me about everything he hadn’t ever done
Almosts and maybes
Everything he once did but had forgotten when
and how full his mind was of thought abouts
Once upon a walk up a mountain
Where nary a stranger does come
I kept the rock in my boot and let the man clamber back
I made it this far with them
I told myself
There is the mountain ahead and the way back still
The day hours are few it would be a shame
to lose such company
Up the meadow and across the boulder field
Over the pass and back a switch
At a saddle the rock still remains
I sit to take a breath as my foot slips in my sock
Wet
Along with an ache
From the weight of the man who sits on my back.
Why stop
says the man
Sure the air is thin and the trail not well kept
But you’ve slowed down your pace and your gait is down to a shuffle
The sun will be setting soon and look there
A cloud or two
So back on your feet and make sure one falls in front of the other
So I went and he continued the same
At each saddle and landing insisting
Don’t slow or go slack
and my foot stopped feeling the stone in my boot about a mile or half back
So I carried on up the mountain
Just so you know
says the man from my pack
I’ve removed some things and made some room
As it seemed so heavy
Your pace kept slowing and your gait was just a crawl
We must make it up before night fall
Once upon a walk up a mountain
I made it
Alone
Except for the rock in my boot and the man on my back
The clouds were now a threat
It was too dark to see the view
We did it!
Exclaimed the man
Although quite slow and with much waste
I am going to leave
I interrupted the man
You made it to the top, so why not stay a while
the man said in return
All the time and miles spent
Your foot, and food too
Not even your gear made it up with you
But up here you have me
With you for each mile and hour
Besides, if you go
What I am to do
To the man I said
No
Down the mountain and across each meadow
Over each pass and back each switch
I’m welcomed back home
With everything I took plus a hole in my foot
Except for a rock in my boot and a man in my pack
artist statement
my process, i think, involves as much time spent not writing as it does writing. i have a problem ignoring chores that need to be done so i try to spend that time chewing on the idea/prompt/character concept etc. or if there are some mindless tasks at work I do the same. also, at nearly all times i keep a notebook with me that fits in a back pocket with paper clips at different sections. and in general i try to hand write a shitty version before i touch a computer. i feel like i edit before i actually want to when i am typing and this interrupts the ideas. i would rather have more words written that i can go back to later and edit than fewer edited words that I will probably go back and edit again.
poems get the exception to this where i will write as many small ideas for the poem in the notebook and then start typing. if i get stuck i write the same piece in a different structure. poems become micro fictions or a short story becomes a haiku. find this helps me path find what i actually want the themes or ideas of the piece to be.
a thing that i think a lot about is men and how to be a man. i keep track of the really shitty men, the joe rogan's and such, because if performing gender is a descriptive act and not prescribed, then the popular man acts as a definition of what it means to be a man and i enjoy rejecting definitions.
growing up i listened to many of these shitty men through those really cringe motivational youtube videos and a big thing in those videos is that to be a man is to be accomplished and to become accomplished alone. isolating yourself is a huge part of that whole grind set stuff.
this poem/story is about that isolation and about ignoring those problems because stopping to address them means you will run out of time to accomplish the thing and the sort of cowardice that that creates.
so using the backpacking trip as the setting mattered to me because, the way my dad went about it, was that the trips were just a really long about way to get home. the trip wasn't about climbing the mountain. the trip was just about getting home. the mountain is where you get to reassess how you got there. if it was about the climbing of the mountain then any amount of pain or risk would be worth it.